Well that's the dynamics of MMO's. You just have to accept it and proceed as usual. Otherwise one should better off playing a single player game.
Loot ? BNS Have the most fair system here... bring more gold, that's the way the wealth is distributed. the higher bid means more shares for the rest. It fails as there arent many people playing anymore or people making their own secret group.
I did got into problem with new people not wanting to do mechs, not listening etc, there are some encouraging people however they listen, we get things done.
but after all it's just tuesday.
Num 3 is exceptionally rare i sometimes wonder if they really exist. Like TBH i never really got into a situation where new players or noobs etc whispering me telling im suck not willing to help after i gave up in dungeon or not willing to run certain dg's. I drop mssg in party "Guys i cant help you if you not willing to listen" and leave... nothing happened. All i see so far i people asking for directions where to go after story.